Living a life of grace is very often misinterpreted. Some believe it’s an indicator of weakness. In the eyes of many, extending the truest form of grace, which is forgiveness, means giving up. Others believe grace is automatic and easy to show. Quite the contrary—living a life of grace takes an enormous amount of strength and a boatload of tenacity.

“Living a life of grace takes an enormous amount of strength and a boatload of tenacity.” Darlene Brock

When you find yourself faced with a choice to walk away and give up or to offer grace to another even when undeserved, there are five things you must be willing to do.

1. Remove self. This isn’t about you or the hurt you may have endured. If you hold onto the heartache, grace can’t survive.

2. Deal honestly. It doesn’t require forgetting, excusing, or ignoring the problem. Discuss the conflict. Remember that listening, as well as speaking, is essential.

3. Make a choice. Grace is extended decisively. The choice is yours to make.

4. Leave the past behind. It’s not real grace (forgiveness) if you don’t let go of what was.

5. Build the future. Move forward in the relationship, not to accept repeat offenses but to offer a fresh start.

Every action that extends grace must be clothed in strength and ladled with determination and endurance. This type of grace is most certainly one of the lovely traits that create a woman’s real beauty.