Can We Know God Loves Us?

I have walked with God for a good many years. I met him as a child, ran from him as a teen, surrendered to him as a young adult as he relentlessly pursued me, and I have sought to follow him since.

There have been seasons filled with faith, believing every promise, and feeling so confident in my purpose and the warmth of his presence. I have also had seasons when I felt as if I was drowning in heartbreak, despair, and discouragement, wondering if he was even there or heard the cry of my heart. Wondering as I have believed if God loves us.

In the discouraging times, when God felt so absent from my life, I immediately thought that I had heard wrong or done something wrong. I knew my heart—no matter how much I tried—was incredibly capable of sin. Yes, I had moved on from the “big sins,” the ones that seem to upset us Christians so. Only to realize that God doesn’t have the same measuring stick we hold; jealousy, envy, pride, anger (not the righteous kind), and even looking at someone else and wishing you could be them, have what they have, or be the “Christian” they are are—all sins too. I had not, nor will I in this life, entirely move away from those. They are the tough ones.

But I have learned and grown to be comfortable with a few things about my God, things that settle my heart and offer me peace when there is turmoil. After all my years of daily reading his Word, praying, creating journals, attending Bible studies, and filling out workbooks, I know less about God than I thought I did when I was 30. While my relationship with him has grown deeper and more dear, I have realized my human understanding cannot comprehend his greatness. The boxes I tried to fit the Creator of the universe into, could not contain him. He is so much more broad, grand, astonishing, and magnificent than the simplicity of my theology or the limits of my expectations. His ways are above ours and honestly, who canknow the mind of God? Because of who he is, I have come to be confident that I can trust him, even when I don’t understand.

Incomprehensible, True Love

The other thing I have learned is that he loves me (and you too) in ways I cannot comprehend nor truly replicate in my life. Even when I doubt, sin, distrust, languish in discouragement or acknowledge the weakness of my humanity, he loves me. The real truth is, he is love. Not just the definition of it; love is his very being. There is no other pure form of this feeling, expression, or action than that which is embodied in the God who left his throne, trading the perfection of heaven for the frailty of earth, who came to give his life for us.

If you are even a little bit familiar with the Bible, you’ve probably heard 1 Corinthians 13 referred to as the love chapter. I have often looked to it as the conduct I need to strive to be like Christ. But it was recently in a book I’ve been reading by Steve Brown, entitled Talk the Walk, that I comprehended that this is the description of Jesus, how he feels about us, and how he loves us. In this book, he suggested that instead of reading this passage as “love is,” to change the words in each line to “Jesus’ love for me is…” This simple change crystalized more to me than ever in my life how he truly and faithfully loves every one of us.

Read these and know each statement made about love is from Jesus to you.

• Jesus’ love for me suffers long and is kind. There is nothing I can do, say, or be that makes him give up on me; he treats me kindly even when I am undeserving.

• Jesus’ love for me is trusted to think no evil. When others condemn me, or I condemn myself, he does not.

• Jesus’ love for me does not rejoice in my failings but rejoices in truth. There is no celebration when I mess up, but when I get it right, there’s a party.

• Jesus’ love for me is a promise to bear all things. The weight of all I carry, he carries with me—even for me—when I may not feel it or believe that to be true.

• Jesus’ love for me is such that it will believe all things. He sees in me much of what I don’t see in myself and knows the day will come when I will become the perfect me.

• Jesus’ love for me is faithful to endure all things. When I think he’s had enough, he hasn’t. He never walks away.

• Jesus’ love for me is always hopeful. He knows what can be even when it’s not my current reality.

• Jesus’ love for me is the only one that will never fail. You can take this one to the bank. It’s worth more than every treasure ever accumulated on this earth. His love never—without hesitation, caveat, or disclaimer—will fail.

There is a song penned by Daniel Joseph and Toby McKeehan (TobyMac) that has always resonated with me. The lyrics ask these questions, “What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?” These may be questions you have asked yourself; I know I have. You see, I am neither as good as I want to be or as bad as I could be, I am still a work in progress, growing in grace. I am going to stumble, and I will fall. When I do, I’m sure others want to take me to task. They think it’s theirs to question my heart and point out my humanity, but 1 Corinthians tells me that that won’t come from the God I serve.

Instead, what I now know in my heart and desire that every other child of God knows as well is this: “May you be able to feel and understand… how long, how wide, how deep, and how high love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves” (Ephesians 3:19a TLB).

I have learned that he loves me (and you too) in ways I cannot comprehend nor truly replicate in my life… The real truth is, he is love.

Feel Stuck in the Mundane? Unlock Joy in the Everyday

Life can be mundane. When we are young, we anticipate the exciting, eventful, purpose-filled existence that we are told is our future. We launch into our 20s with such optimism about our life, yet it doesn’t take long for that optimism to wane. We start real life lacking the joy in the everyday.

Beginning our careers, building a promising relationship, getting married, and starting a family look like exciting benchmarks to a fulfilling future. And they are. But they are also the start of real life.

The Frustrations of Real Life

Real life includes challenging coworkers, repetitive work that you find cumbersome, promotions you think should be yours but aren’t. Relationships that fizzle or a husband who leaves his dirty laundry on the floor. Children that you delight in that don’t let you sleep and throw tantrums—only for it all to repeat each day you awaken.

Sounds discouraging, doesn’t it? But it doesn’t have to be. And it shouldn’t be. Because the milestones we thought was our future doesn’t mean it’s not as fulfilling. It absolutely does not mean it lacks purpose. And it certainly does not mean it is void of all joy. It’s just different than we thought. So, it’s our view that needs to adjust along with our life.

You Need to Shift Your Perspective

Real life isn’t lived in the highs and lows; it’s lived in the middle. Like a weather graph accepting that summer generally feels like summer, spring, winter, and fall do too. Accepting our life is the same is not surrendering to mediocrity—it’s embracing the comfort of realistic expectations.

Yes, your 2-year-old will throw tantrums, probably in the middle of the grocery store. But that same child will crawl into your lap and let you know how loved you are. Take joy in that because that same child will not be doing that at 13.

Your husband may be the one who leaves dirty laundry, or dirty dishes, or uses all the hot water. But he will also be the one who watches a romcom with you or makes your coffee or simply asks how you’re doing. And ladies, you need to tell him—honestly, kindly. Often, he will want to fix it. You may not want him to, but it shows he cares. Take joy in the man you married, the care he offered then and now, the reason he became yours in the first place. Then just pick up the clothes!

The job you thought would be your dream job feels like a bad fit. Or you never were able to get that position and settled for something else. Yet you have made one of your dearest life friends at that workplace. You have learned what you are capable of as well as what your talents may not be. Take joy in sweet things, the abilities you’ve gained, the relationships you’ve built. These would not have come without the place you find yourself in at your “everyday job.”

Remember Life Changes—And That’s Good!

While you settle into realistic expectations, remember life changes. Especially for women. As we say on This Grit and Grace Life podcast—”From the boardroom to the bedroom, carlines to college, being single, married, or single again,” this is your ever-changing Grit and Grace Life.

And it’s good!

With each change, we grow in wisdom and strength. We can become more confident, content, and fulfilled. With each season we look back on, we’ll find accomplishment—personal, relational or professional—which means every season yet to come will also yield something to celebrate. Take joy in that.

There Is Joy in the Everyday—You Just Need to Look

You will find the greatest joy in each day you change your focus. You are making a difference in the lives of the children you love. Your investment in them now will determine your relationship in the future. Delight in in their giggles, their smiles, their warm hugs. Those are in the everyday.

Tell your man you love him and appreciate him because you have spent time thinking about the good things he has done. They are there if you change your view from the floor to his heart.

Embrace the parts of your job you love and do them well. And remember family is forever, but jobs don’t have to be. So, part of the change in your life may come in your career.

Get outdoors to see the beauty of God’s creation. Take a hike, a walk in the park, or simply sit in the yard. God created the nature around us to sooth our souls. That alone can bring joy to our everyday.

Finally, remember the women who impacted your life—the ones who may have had it harder than we do, yet they left an indelible mark, an example to follow. They were someone who made your life better.

You can be that woman too. It all starts with finding joy in the everyday.

The Places You’ll Go! Must See Travel Destinations in the U.S.

“Oh, the places you’ll go.” I’m sure you’ve read that book by the incredible Dr. Seuss a time or two, perhaps for your enjoyment or that of the littles in your life. You may have embraced it as a child, dreaming of all the unique and exciting things you wanted to see.

After reading to your children, I’m sure you have offered this: “The world is a special place, and it’s yours to explore.” But has life distracted you since the reading? We often think it’s too much work to load up those kids to show them what that means. Well, it’s not! The memories created are too important at these special travel destinations.

I’ve traveled extensively and had the chance to visit several historical, unique, weird, and inspiring places. In those seasons, I created special memories, sometimes by myself and other times with my family or friends. Some of the most poignant were our mother-daughter excursions. So, I’m taking that trip with you on paper, reliving particular travel destinations in the U.S. that I’ve visited, plus some I still want to see. They aren’t necessarily what you would expect in a travel brochure, but they might add more life adventure—and fulfill the “the places you’ll go” dream.

The Melodies of Life

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, a must-visit for all who love music.

I worked in the music industry for years, partly because I love music. I love lyrics that tell a story, express emotion, or bring a smile. When done well, the score and instruments that move you through your lyrical experience are magnificent. Because I grew up with rock as my music bed of life, it was a must to enter the doors of The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio, to gain (and relive) a bit of its history.

Any genre that includes The Rolling Stones, Louis Armstrong, and Dolly Parton as inductees is well worth the visit, and the Hall of Fame was. We took our elder daughter with us that year. Her life lesson from that visit was that the origin of great music comes from life experience, as it does in most art forms. But if rock isn’t your jam, Making Music Magazine has a list of important American music museums to help you find any sound you love.

Is the Sky the Limit?

A glimpse into the age of space exploration at the Cape Canaveral Space Center.

When you share the places you’ll go with your kids, ensure they know there is no limit, not even the sky. In Cape Canaveral, Florida, the Kennedy Space Center takes you on a journey, from launching into space with the Peanuts Crew to learning about the heroes who flew the missions. You can see spaceships, visit launch sites, and plan a mission of your own making.

If you time it right, you may see a rocket launch. This place will teach your kids that the sky is just the beginning. There are places they can go that have yet to be explored.

If you’re more interested in seeing the stars from terra firma, a trip to the Jennifer Chalsty Planetarium at the Liberty Science Center in New Jersey City, New Jersey, is the place to be. Seeing the vastness of the universe expands our perspective. A glimpse at the star-studded sky leaves one in awe of the beauty seen only through magnification. You will end with the realization we have so much more to explore.

There Will Be Times to Take a Stand

I’m a fan of Texas for many reasons, but one of the top reasons is the historically independent spirit. Texas it is if you want your family to find people who did things their way. When we visited the Bullock Texas State Museum in Austin, I didn’t realize what strong characters birthed this great state. I’ve been to Houston many times, but the gent (I say that almost in jest) whose name the city adopted was quite a character. He was also among the most effective and colorful fighters for independence. Consider adding a trip to San Antonio to visit The Alamo, where Texas history is brought to life. This landmark will indeed cause you to forever “Remember the Alamo.”

Join the crew at the Boston Tea Party Ship.

Taking a stand is not foreign to Boston, Massachusetts. American history is on every street in this great city. Visiting the Boston Tea Party Ship will open your eyes to some very ordinary folks who took a stand uniquely. History teaches us all those who rose against mounting challenges had their unique style of protest. They also had messy and complicated lives. Their lives show us that we, too, in our imperfection, can stand when we must.

The Hurt of Humanity

I wish more had taken a stand for the Native Americans. Sam Houston lived among the Cherokee for three years, was made an honorary member of the tribe, and made strides on their behalf. But the Cherokee had a lot of heartbreak, as did many tribes.

A lesson in Cherokee History not easily forgotten.

Visiting Cherokee, North Carolina, would be considered by some a “tourist trap” destination. But if one drove through the city on the way to the Smoky Mountains, they would be missing a large part of our nation’s history. It became real to me while waiting for a table at a popular breakfast restaurant. A native Cherokee gentleman was seated next to me. He shared that he was a dancer at one of the roadside stops. I asked if he liked doing that (wondering if he found it demeaning). He responded that he was proud to share his heritage and culture with those who stopped, and this was the way he did it. It made me smile.

Understanding the history and the Cherokee culture is best seen at The Museum of the Cherokee Indian. I recommend it for those of us who don’t want to forget what man can do to man, yet not for younger children or those who are sensitive. The Trail of Tears, documented in this museum, will lead you to tears of your own, at least for my family. But it will make you more sensitive to those who need us when they can’t defend themselves.

The same would be true of The Civil Rights Museum in Memphis, Tennessee. Making it even more impactful is this museum at the site where Martin Luther King was assassinated. The struggle he faced then should lead us to a greater understanding and compassion for the fight that this great man waged.

The Hope of Humanity: Our Faith

The Brock family visit to the Ark Encounter

We took our eldest grandson to The Ark Encounter in Williamstown, Kentucky, a few years ago. Walking up to an exact replication of Noah’s Ark was breathtaking. No storybook or Bible reading can make this ship as real as a visit to the life-sized display. This kid-friendly destination lets you experience this ark and has a small zoo and animal interactions that fill an entire day. It also reminds us of the magnificence of God’s delivery when we follow His leading.

To deepen our faith and trust in its truth, visiting The Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C., is also a must. How many times through history has humanity attempted to eradicate this book? To disprove its authenticity and authority only for it to survive? Faith is a deep belief in something you may not be able to prove or convince others of, but a trip to this destination will reinforce the strength of that which you know to be true.

A Girl Just Wants to Have Fun (and Her Family, Too)

I’ve had the privilege of going on several mother-daughter trips, sometimes with both of my daughters, other times just one. The year my daughter Chelsea and I took a road trip to Washington, D.C., from the mountains of North Carolina, we decided to stop when we saw anything of interest. It was in Virginia that we saw a sign for Luray Caverns. We both love caves; Chelsea even loves crawling through those crevices you barely fit into. Not me. We decided it was worth a detour.

What we should have known when we pulled off is within those caverns is a pipe organ. One fully playable off the stalagmites and stalactites of the cave. The sound was something I had never heard before or since. They also have a rope park, a toy town, and a garden maze. We got stuck in the maze, losing an hour and a half trying to get out. It’s a fun memory we still relive.

The Pipe Organ at the Luray Caverns.

You may not know this, but cars are artwork. Or at least they used to be. Your husband will thank you if you take him to the America’s Car Museum in Tacoma, Washington. Car museum visits are easy for me as I love classic cars as much as my husband. I still want to own a 1957 turquoise and white T-Bird. Since we are also motorcycle enthusiasts, a trip to Barber Vintage Motorsports Museum in Birmingham, Alabama, is astounding because of the multi-levels of every sport bike you can find.

Layers of fast vehicles for all motorcycle and race fans at Barber Motor Sport Museum.

Lastly, you may still love a circus if you’re anything like my family. Since there aren’t many of those anymore, visiting The Ringling Brothers Museum in Sarasota, Florida, is well worth a trip. While there is a lot of circus history and memorabilia, you will be astounded by the vast waterside estate’s artwork, gardens, and simple beauty. It’s a place that has something for the whole family.

There is no limit for you or your family for “the places you’ll go.” Whether you choose to visit any of these or find some destinations of your own, go! You will understand the “bigger world” that will entertain, excite, and inspire the entire family. And make Dr. Seuss proud that you took him at his word.

5 Important Topics for New Couples to Discuss

Recently, I saw an article on a men’s website that shared what males thought they should talk about when they wanted to make a good impression on a date. There were four topics of conversation that these “Einsteins” believed worked best with women: pets, travel, movies, and food.

Seriously, is that all some men think women are capable of discussing? Granted, they are trying to make a good impression, theoretically wanting a second date. But ladies, aren’t we a bit more interesting than that? Don’t we want more out of a relationship?

Yes, most females have pets, enjoy travel, watch movies, and like to eat. But I think we need to come up with our own list. If it’s the first date, I get it. You are just finding your way, not wanting to venture into any conversation that may resemble stepping into a minefield…at least not until you know he’s a good guy and that you’d be willing to go out with him again.

But once you get past the first few dates, if you are interested in building a real relationship, there are a lot more subjects you need to address. Besides, who wants to waste time on trivial topics when life brings many more interesting, important, and challenging subjects? There are things we ladies are certainly more concerned with, things we care about deeply.

So, here are 5 important topics for new couples to discuss in order to build a healthy relationship:

1. Life and Career Goals

It’s imperative that you let the man in your life know what you have set out to do. Is there a career you are pursuing? Are there significant life goals you wish to attain? It’s also crucial that you know what his are, too. Can your respective paths co-exist? Or will they set a divergent course at some point in the future and self-destruct? Of course, every healthy relationship includes compromise in order to support one another, but it’s important to know whether or not he or you are willing to do so.

2. Money

The number one cause of relationship issues has to be a subject of conversation. Do you have debt? Does he? Who’s a spender? Who’s a saver? What are your financial priorities? This one requires eyes wide open as you move forward. Money issues can be addressed if they are honestly discussed and plans acted upon. If not, they can be major trouble.

3. Extended Family

This is the bane of many arguments among couples. You need to get to know his extended family, and he needs to know yours. They are a great indicator of who this man will be, and yours will do the same for him. You also need to know what impact they have on his decision-making and whether or not that is a good thing. If marriage is the ultimate goal, you’re not just going to live with him; you will be a member of the rest of the team, too.

4. Children

Do you want them or not? Does he? If you do, how do you want to see them raised? Do you believe in discipline? If so, what kind? It’s a pretty big problem if you want a brood of five and discover he would rather go on European vacations instead of financing a clan.

5. Faith and Values

This really shouldn’t be last on the list because if you don’t share your faith, which essentially establishes your values, you may find that you have two very different perspectives on life and how to approach it. If your life decisions are based upon your core beliefs, but his are on a different trajectory, it’s difficult to reconcile. Should you abandon what you believe, or just wait and hope that he will one day join you? Neither option is a good one. It’s best to be on the same page from the beginning.

Consider these topics and enter into each conversation with grit and grace as your relationship grows. It will take time and multiple discussions but will result in understanding one another more deeply. Who knows, you may have found the right man for you!

If not, pets, travel, movies, and food—with maybe a little football or monster trucks thrown in—can be fine conversation topics for date one and two. Then move on to someone a whole lot more interesting.

Mom, Be Sure to Make Memories That Will Last a Lifetime

I recently traveled through Northeastern Georgia as we headed to the mountains of North Carolina. We have the privilege of enjoying the autumn in the tranquil and beautiful land between the Smoky Mountains and the Blue Ridge Parkway. Observing the burst of color in the month of October leaves one in awe of the beauty of creation.

While heading to our final destination, we spotted a Fruit Stand – Corn Maze – Hayride – Bakery – Ice Cream Store and Pumpkin Patch. Yes, these were all there in one location. With fare like this, we had to stop and see which of these we couldn’t live without. Parking in an absolutely full lot, alongside another load of pumpkins being delivered from the fields behind, I set off to tour the place.

I picked through the produce and drooled over the baked items that were in complete dietetic conflict with the fresh vegetables that I had in my cart. These items were just as important as the healthy fare, so of course I headed toward the not-to-be-resisted bakery section.

I walked by a table of four little eight- to nine-year-old girls. They were sitting with their hot apple cider and fried apple pie (yes, fried, it is the South you know), chattering about the fun they just had in the corn maze. They were laughing and teasing each other about exactly how lost they had become. They were voting on which girl was the most directionally challenged in the world of mazes. Their mothers pulled up with shopping carts at this indoor-outdoor stand, excited about the fresh apples they were buying to take home and eat.

Watching this group warmed my heart. I mean, how great is it to head out on a Saturday morning with friends or family and spend $5 to get lost in a cornfield for two hours? There is much to relish in while enjoying the great outdoors in Northern Georgia and leaving behind the scurry of normal lives, technology, and demands. Then to end your day with hot apple cider and the best fried-pie you’ve ever eaten? I’m sure after this exciting day those girls slept soundly with fresh air in their lungs and peaceful dreams in their imaginations.

This fun scene reminded me how important making special memories is…

It’s these times in life that create the great memories that will be with us when our daughters or sons leave home to go to college, get a job, pay the rent of their first place, or begin a family of their own. It’s not the hustle of homework, computers, carpooling, or frantic life that stays in your or your children’s hearts. But the special times, when we step away from life, that’s what endures.

So you may not be near a corn maze or a great fruit stand, but I have to encourage you to find your own life step-away. What about frisbee in the park, a creek side picnic, or a bicycle ride to create a memory? If you can’t get away from home, maybe try backyard camping, an in-house scavenger hunt, or some crafting fun. Pull out a pile of newspapers, magazines, feathers, fabric scraps—whatever you have—along with glue, scissors, and poster board and just create. Make a collage with your children. Let them choose their favorite things in life to cut out and display.

Now that my daughters are grown, those are the days we treasure. Those are the memories that last. There’s also another great by-product…those spontaneous times together serve as a wonderful balance to the days when you inevitably have to say, “Hurry up! Homework done yet? Get off the computer. No, you can’t go out tonight. Turn down the stereo,” or whatever the life craziness may be. When those stressful days come, the relationship built through the special times makes the tensions a little less and the frustration a bit shorter. And remember, those great memories will last a lifetime.

There is much to relish in while enjoying the great outdoors and leaving behind the scurry of normal lives, technology, and demands.